Apparel for the compliant-adjacent.
Free shipping over $50. Ships in plain packaging.
the collection
Three products. One sentence.
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The Teebestseller
$27
Heavyweight cotton. Legible from across a cul-de-sac.
Available censored (F**K) or uncensored.
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The Hoodie
$50
Heavy fleece. For unseasonably cold board meetings.
Available censored (F**K) or uncensored.
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The Mug
$18
Holds 11 oz of coffee and one firmly held position.
Available censored (F**K) or uncensored.
the bundle
The Repeat Offender Bundle
The Tee and The Mug. One to wear, one to raise quietly at the annual meeting.
$40 $45
about
Your lawn is fine. It was always fine.
We make plain, well-made things that say one true sentence. No mascots, no seventeen-color prints — just the words, set in a nice typeface, worn at a reasonable distance from the property line.
faq
Reasonable questions.
Is the print really just text?
Yes. The sentence doesn't need art direction.
Can I wear it to the annual meeting?
We recommend the censored print for the meeting and the uncensored print for the walk home.
What if my HOA is actually fine?
Then wear it in solidarity. Somewhere, a lawn is being measured.
Returns?
30 days, no questions, no hearing required. Shipping is free over $50, and the packaging stays plain either way.
10% off your first order
About four emails a year. Fewer than they send.
Done. Your code is on the way. This exchange will not appear in any minutes.